How overcoming my biggest fear made me a stronger person
Sometimes we get the chance to overcome something so large that if we were to take action and overcome our fear, our lives can finally unfold in the most incredible ways that we could only imagine would be possible.
When we dream up our dream life and want to see it manifest, we often make up an idea in our minds on how it will all pan out. However more often than not, when I have wanted or needed big, life changing shifts to happen, I have come to understand that the ground beneath me is going to shake. My world will calibrate according to how big my idea or dream is.
I believe this is why we sometimes get several opportunities to learn a lesson. If we are courageous enough to take the leap, we must be prepared that what we know, may very well melt away to create a brand new reality.
It may be necessary for the right doors to open.
In tarot it’s depicted as the Falling Tower, in Indian culture it’s the goddess Kali.
For most of my adult life I have been drawn to exploring my fears and finding ways to overcome them. My biggest fear however, was the idea of giving birth.
Two years prior to meeting the father of my beautiful daughter, I knew children were coming. I was never pining for children, but I noticed many hints and signs that I couldn’t shy away from, so when I found out I was having a baby, I trusted the path I was being given.
Often we deny ourselves a healthier, more beautiful life, because we are not willing to look at our fears. However these very fears may be the gateway to solving a part of the puzzle in allowing ourselves to grow and bring more joy and love into our lives.
In denying our fears, we also deny our joys.
I have noticed over the last few years that overcoming certain fears or challenges doesn’t need to be huge, cathartic experiences. This again is a trick of the mind when I have gone deeper in my own evolution. Overcoming fears can be gracious, calm and gentle. It can be a journey of wisdom and courage, rather than a repeated story of defeat.
We can choose to journey through and beyond our challenges.
I did not have an easy pregnancy, I was sick through most of it. It’s a time that rushes past very quickly, especially when you are on the other side of it. But I do remember being in bed for almost 2 weeks, because I felt so unwell. Taking a shower was something that maybe happened every 2 or 3 days, depending on how sick I felt. Pregnancy for me was at times horrible and full on, but was also incredibly beautiful and made me feel more womanly than ever before.
Many many moments throughout the pregnancy I pulled out the white flag of surrender and understood on a deeper level, that the challenging experiences throughout, were necessary for me to grow into the mother and woman which my baby needed. To me, this felt like catching up to becoming the woman I wanted to be.
I was terrified of the idea of giving birth and I would cry just thinking about it. The thought of all that pain and feeling stuck in time, with that pain, being in labour for x amount of hours. All that my mind could see was defeat and struggle.
Because of this fear of the birth itself, my partner and I decided to attend hypnobirthing, which really softened all this fear I was holding on to. Much of the hypnobirthing techniques I already intuitively knew, but it served as a reminder of all the years of accumulated knowledge and life experience I have attained. My gorgeous partner reminded me of this as well.
We often forget how far we have actually come.
I started to understand that to overcome this fear, I had to become the most flexible I had ever been, probably in my whole life (not just physically ;) ).
Instead of viewing my fear with defeat and hardship, I started to make conscious decisions where I could, which would meet my needs for safety, nurture and gentleness. This was my antidote, because there was no turning back.
When you know there is no turning back, you have to keep going. So it’s your choice on how you do so.
The birth of my 4.5kg daughter was all beautifully finalized in our home as a water birth in 4.5 hrs. My body performed in a miraculous way and in the biggest way I was reminded of trust.
Yes there was pain, but I did it. I birthed a healthy, gorgeous little girl. She grew inside me for 40 weeks and 2 days, and I trusted that.
We will never know how everything works in this waking life, the mind will have concepts and ideas, but in the process we inevitably have to trust that the pieces will eventually come together for something grander, a richer experience in life or a new path entirely.
Conclusion:
Overcoming great obstacles can be met with various emotions and actions. Do you know how you initially respond to certain fears and challenges?
How have you moved beyond your fears or challenges that may have kept you stuck?
Did you feel the strength and deeper knowing? What did it feel like?
Wisdom is unwavering. It’s clear and grounded, but it may not always be something that we can articulate.
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